I'm a Total Chicken

Confession: I'm a total wuss.  A chicken, really.  For years after leaving home, I avoided making dentist appointments because the little spinning thingy they use to clean your teeth gives me the heebie-jeebies.  I have vague (yet somehow still horrific) memories of being admitted to the hospital overnight for an asthma attack when I was little; I was put in a room with a bunch of crying babies and barely slept all night.  I initially decided to have natural childbirths, not because I wanted that flowery, hippie momma experience, but because I nearly puked in the tray they passed around in the hospital childbirth class...in it lay the needle they would use for the epidural.  I can't watch those "junkie" movies without turning away in disgust (yes, Trainspotting nearly scarred me for life), and even worse, I can barely make it through a blood draw without serious mental prayer.

But tomorrow I have to go to the hospital for a "routine medical procedure" that will involve anesthesia.  It's nothing earth-shattering, but it feels that way to me in some respects.  At first glimpse, it seems the opposite of the "pain with a purpose" of childbirth...which seems so much easier for me to handle.  Instead, it seems like it's just going to be a whole lot of yuck, ick, and nastiness.  It has been a little stressful this week to answer questions like, "Do you have a living will or a medical directive?" and to get a message on my cell phone today stating the following:

Please do not eat or drink after midnight tonight.  This includes candy, chewing gum, breath mints, cough drops, cigarettes or anything you could possibly put into your mouth and swallow.  (WHO SWALLOWS CIGARETTES???!!!  She didn't say that, that's me saying that, by the way.)  You may brush your teeth in the morning, but do not swallow any water.  We ask that you don't wear any body creams, jels, powders, makeup, eyeliner, mascara, rings, body-piercings, perfume, deodorant or fingernail polish.  And wear loose comfortable clothing.

And THIS is what they tell you for a "routine procedure!???!!!"  It is routine, I know it is, and I have to keep reminding myself of that.  Of that and the fact that there is no such thing as purpose-less pain.  I've been thinking a lot this week about how much purpose pain and suffering can have in our lives.  If nothing else, I feel just a tiny bit closer to God, and to his Son, who endured a lot more than "yuck, ick" suffering.  He bore a whole lot so that one day none of us would have to suffer at all.  In whatever way I can unite myself with Him and his offering to me, I think I join in that offering somehow.  Instead of a total one-way street, the suffering becomes a two-way street, and when that happens, as many saints have recognized and spoken so poetically about, it becomes less suffering and more love.  Him for me, and I for Him.  Tomorrow might be a small thing, but to me it's a big thing.  And I know He sees that.

Pray for me tomorrow morning.  :-)    

Holy Garlic!

Although it's about three weeks too early for the garlic to be ready, it's ready.  I blame the hot days we had this Spring, and the relatively mild winter, but I'm secretly happy to get an early start on planting whatever is going to take its place in the garden bed.  I feel like I've been neglecting the garden, so it felt great to get back into the dirt.

There's something so simple, but so magical about pulling your food right from the Earth.  I couldn't help but thank God (probably for the millionth time this gardening season) for the little piece of co-creating that I'm blessed to do with Him out there in the dirt.  While it pales in comparison to the co-creating we do as parents, there is something profound about it that I can't quite articulate in words.

For some reason, my usually non-enthusiastic gardener was super anxious to help with the garlic!

The first couple heads took quite a while to get out...

Peeling back the dirt to find the edge.  Crowning, if you will.

The garlic is born!

At some point I looked up and realized I had a LONG way to go.

I enlisted the help of Omlet, who really did help loosen the dirt!

Laying out on a screen to cure.  (This helps the heads dry out and get that nice papery skin on the outside edge.)

No vampires here.  Fifty-two heads in all.

A large spot for something new!

My Shot in the Arm

Last summer, my friends Alexis and Kristina asked me to join them at the Immaculate Heart of Mary Homeschool Conference.  I went, loved it, and couldn't wait to go back this year...this time without my toddler in tow!  There are always inspiring speakers, those men and women who fill me with that reassurance that I CAN do this crazy Catholic-homeschooling-mom deal for another year.  And there's always the gigantic hall filled with beautiful books from what seems like every major Catholic homeschooling curriculum provider or book publisher.  My eyes were bloodshot and blurry by the time I left that hall!  (I was particularly relieved that my homeschooling plans were pretty much in place before the conference so that I was not as tempted by all the shiny, shrink-wrapped curricula!)

I take notes during all the lectures, but thought that it would be nice to have a digital place to return to when I need to access some of my favorite thoughts or quotes or discoveries from the talks.  I thought I'd just put them here, in case the words offer help or comfort or a laugh to those friends of mine who couldn't attend!

Lectio Divina: Kindling the Fire at the Heart of Our Interior Life by Fr. Stephen McGraw

- The format for Lectio Divina parallels the biblical quote, "Seek and you shall find.  Knock and it will be opened to you."  The "seeking" is the reading of the Scripture.  The "finding" is the meditation portion.  Then you "knock" during the prayer time, and if you are lucky, the door will be "opened" to you during contemplation. 

- "The devil knows he has lost a soul that perseveres in mental prayer."

The Academic Approach for All Ages by Ginny Seuffert

- "You can not teach a brat anything!"

- "If I am going to be fat and lonely, darn it, they are going to LEARN!" (Referring to the fact that if she has spent her whole life sacrificing her time at the gym and her outings with friends, than she's going to make sure her kids reap the benefits of her sacrifice!  I thought this was a funny, but really true way of looking at homeschooling!)

- "Homeschooling IS your service to Christ."

The Basic Brick for Building a Civilization by David Ahlquist  

- "Every bad philosophy is self destructive." 

- "The family is the only kingdom founded on love that creates its own citizens."

- "We can get really prideful that we don't commit sins that we aren't tempted to commit."

- "Work, education, and recreation should not all occur outside the home."

How to See the Truth in Great Literature by Joseph Pearce

- "God gives us our gifts to use or abuse freely."

- "Be true to the true beyond yourself." (The anti-"To thine own self be true.")

Leaving the Nest by Joseph Pearce

- "We get to Heaven  by getting others to Heaven."

- "The most important thing about any education is that at the end, you are oriented in the right direction for the rest of your life---TOWARDS God."

- "Being clever is not the same as being wise." 

- "The future belongs to those who have children.  The Culture of Death doesn't have children."

Play and Work

It's summer and we've been making the most of it.  We recently took a trip to Dutch Wonderland with my mom, sister, and niece, which the girls really enjoyed.  (I think I would've enjoyed it more if I hadn't ruined my toddler's day by taking her on the kiddie roller coaster!  She was pretty cranky after that!)  This was our first trip to an amusement park, and the big girls would've stayed there for three days!  So much to do and see, and so little time!

T and Meara!

Mom, Meara and Baby A

Auntie Kel, Caeley and T

I hope this isn't the closest I get to being a farmer!

We just returned home from our yearly trip to North Carolina.  For Ken especially, it was a much needed vacation.  The best part was seeing him relaxing and enjoying his ladies!

I might have found the biggest daddy's girl yet!

Ailin loved the beach!

Ready to Boogie.

My favorite picture of the whole trip.

Eating ice cream at Cold Stone Creamery

Working in the sand.

My Mears.  My precious middle girl.

I have been struck this summer with a couple thoughts.  First, how fortunate we are that we truly can enjoy and live out the maxim: "To everything there is a season."  Every summer, we are able to take a break from the routine and the "work" and make time for play and relaxation.

But I've also been struck by another thought, which I'm sure many saints or popes or other gifted writers have been able to articulate better than I will here, so bear with me.  :-)   As we were getting ready to leave my in-laws' house in North Carolina yesterday, and I was sweeping the floor, I was struck by how much I missed cleaning.  I missed the work of my every day life.  I missed Meara running from the chicken coop with a handful of eggs.  I missed feeding the chickens and letting them play in the yard.  I missed weeding.  I missed cutting the flowers in our yard for vases.  I missed cooking, cleaning, and maybe I missed laundry, but my thoughts didn't get quite that far.  :-)   

I realized that there was a life I had left behind that was infinitely more precious and valuable to me than any vacation could ever be.  That doesn't mean that the vacation wasn't absolutely wonderful for our family, and so much appreciated.  But I think it means that I am living the life I am meant to live.  Somewhere along the lines, the joy inherent in my "times for work" and "times for play" seems to have become one and the same joy.   I don't know if it makes me a loser, but I realized that in the past couple years, I've never felt desperate for a vacation.  I've never felt the need to flee from my duties or my life at home.  (Side bar:  Of course, there's always the need for small breaks and respites, like the days when Tee Tee comes and I get to go grocery shopping by myself, or when Ken takes the girls for a couple hours on Saturday while I garden and plan for our school week!)

But the older I get, the more I feel that longing to return when I am not in my 'nest.'  I don't think it's because I'm a workaholic or such a homebody that I can't have fun on vacation.  But the part of me that feels most fulfilled, feels that way in my home.  I also can't deny that it made me truly happy to hear the girls also express how much they missed home and the chickens.  They couldn't wait to see if the tomatoes were ready or how big the cucumbers had grown.  Life as a mother means you don't often get to hear "thank you," but it was enough for me to know that there's a part of them that loves this life too.

"Human work proceeds directly from persons created in the image of God and called to prolong the work of creation by subduing the earth, both with and for one another....Work honors the Creator's gifts and the talents received from him...Work can be a means of sanctification and a way of animating earthly realities with the Spirit of Christ."  (CCC #2427)

I'm realizing that my goal should always be to cultivate so much joy, love, and beauty in our everyday life, in our times of work and our times of play, that we never feel the desperate need to escape.  And when we are lucky enough to get those precious moments away, I hope that all of us will miss this little homestead.  I'm beginning to see the truth that there is value, dignity, and the true Spirit of Christ to be found in the work AND the life of the home.  

Silly times in bed with the iPhone!

I wish Caeley had made it in this one!

Home Sweet Home

Diamonds In This Rough

It has been a rough couple of months.  Between my over-employed husband, bouts of a stomach virus (and its reprise), and trying to plug away and finish out the school year, it has been really tempting to throw in the towel....stay in bed...throw the covers over my head and write the rest of the Spring off as a total loss.

But there are always "diamonds" in any rough.  I admit, some of these things are really mundane, and most of them have to do with work and schooling, because I tend to throw myself into work when I want to feel better.  Whether it's the little curriculum gem that brings a new dimension to our dwindling school year, or the joy of finally getting something done...it's those little things that can make all the difference. Sometimes it's just those little moments or small things that ease a burden and make it possible to keep on keepin' on.  

#1: Homeschool Movie Diamonds:  Liberty's Kids and City of Bees

The Liberty's Kids series on Netflix has completely saved our study of the American Revolution.  It isn't that I gave up on my own plans (all the books and timeline work continue) but these videos make the entire time period really come alive for the girls, and they have become our daily soap opera!  They girls literally BEG for the next episode, and we end up discussing issues from the movies quite often.  I know they are really learning and internalizing this stuff more than they would otherwise.  Not to mention, it just gives me a chance to sit and relax with them, which I've needed lately.

We also checked out a movie on bees called City of Bees for our gardening unit.  (The link here is for the newer version, but check the library for the original!)  While the quality of the movie is certainly a deterrent (it's obviously old, and the narrator has a very thick European accent), the girls and I learned more about bees from this ONE movie than ALL the gazillion books we've read about bees since Caeley started Kindergarten.  It basically follows a bee keeper (the European man) through a year of bee-keeping, and he gives a detailed description of the bees, the hive, the activity, etc.  We kept pausing the movie, exclaiming, "I didn't know THAT about bees!" or "So THAT'S what the propolis is!"  Great, great, great, random library find!  Through all the yuck when we were sick, having these two bright spots in our week was really a God-send.

#2: Homeschool App Diamond:  Mental Case

I have my friend Alexis to thank for this one.  It's called Mental Case and it's sheer genius for homeschool parents that don't want a million piles of flashcards around.  (I hear it is also a huge hit with college populations as well!)  Basically it's a flashcard App that allows you to either take pictures, type in, or use voice prompts to enter the data for the front and back of the flashcard.  That means you can either make your own flashcards, OR if you already have flashcards that come as part of a curriculum, you can take pictures of the front and back of the card with your iPad or smart phone and make the cards that way.  Apparently you can also use it on your desktop to enter data, but I haven't used that feature yet.  I have over 500 flashcards for Caeley currently entered in the App, and I can't imagine what these cards, all over my house, would look like.  Using Mental Case prevents you from becoming a mental case.  For sure.

Here's a bad picture, pulled offline, of what the flashcards look like in one "case" in the App.  You can see it is being used to study anatomy.  This is just the view of the case--when you "study the cards" in a case, they flash on the screen one at a time, just like you see a flashcard in real life.

#3: Homeschool Random Book Diamond:  The Story of Salt

It sounds horrifically boring...an entire children's book called The Story of Salt.  But it's fascinating.  I checked it out because it was listed in my favorite book about books, and almost didn't read it because I thought the girls would hate it.  Not so!  There is so much history, so many fun facts, so much cross-curricular connecting that we were hooked.  Get it.  You won't be disappointed.

#4: Day Date Diamond:  How My Husband Rocks

I got a Facebook invitation from Ken to go on a date.  While this sounds utterly unromantic, it was actually super cute.  It was the kind of email I remember getting during the courting phase of our relationship.  Utter sweetness.  It was also special because the reality is that we have seen very little of each other the last couple months due to circumstances at work that have provided him with not one, or two, or three, but really four jobs.  In an effort to make time with me, he recruited some students to babysit, sent his invitation, and we got to go see The Avengers.  What a great movie!!!  And how wonderful to think that Ken can still rock the day date.

#5: Spanish Diamond: Salsa Spanish Movies

Now it's just starting to seem like my kids have been sitting in front of the TV, but I have to mention this one, because it really has been filled in the missing piece of our Spanish curriculum puzzle.  (And I have Alexis to thank again for this gem!)  It's a series of Spanish videos put out by Georgia Public Broadcasting for FREE on their website.  The videos use puppets, familiar stories, and repetition of certain vocabulary words and structures to teach children Spanish.  Not only do the girls love it, but they are using the phrases and words on their own in real life, so the mission has been accomplished.  In another life, I'd be writing an elementary homeschool Spanish curriculum using these videos...

#6: Work Diamond: Finishing Schedules for Next Year

I can't jinx myself and say I'm done...because I am constantly altering and changing our school schedules up until the moment we begin school, but for the most part, I think I'm done with planning for next school year.  Caeley will be in 4th grade, and Meara will be in 1st.  I'm thankful that I did a lot of work cementing my philosophy (in my head and heart) and schedules (on the computer) when Caeley was young, so that each year I just need to "kick it up a notch" and make adjustments based on the girls'  current needs.  But because the framework has been laid, each year gets easier and easier to plan.  All that's really left for this summer (aside from minor tweaks) is a massive book order in July and planning our actual course of study for the Middle Ages.  

#7: Friend Diamond: Loving My Neighbors

I would not be making it through these days without the friends I'm so blessed to have.  Whether it's laughing through Saturday morning Bible study (affectionately known as BS) or ranting during tea time of the challenges of living virtuously, or discussing curriculum and educational theory during play dates, I've been lifted up mentally, emotionally and spiritually in so many ways these past couple months.  I'm encouraged to grow more, think more, and love more through this little circle of women, and for that I'm truly thankful.  

#8: Abundant Harvest Diamond: Eggs and Garden

When all else fails, when the ca-ca hits the fan, you'll find me picking slugs.  Because no one comes out to the garden (they are afraid I'll ask for help) and slugs don't talk back.  When the whining doesn't stop, or Ailin pees on the floor or in her pants for the tenth time in one day (just because it's "funny"), or when the noise in my head is too loud...thank you GOD for the quiet time I get to spend in the garden.  The strawberries are coming in, the tomato plants have shot up with the rain, and the greens just keep coming.  The chickens are doing their thing...our egg count for April was 255 eggs.  I can't believe it.  Where did all those eggs GO?  It's nice not to feel quite so tied to grocery shopping, but more than that, it's nice to see the tangible blessings of the "harvest" when life's other blessings can be so much harder to recognize.

I am really, really looking forward to summer!

A Wednesday Snapshot

Today I woke up late after a bad night with the toddler.

I pounded coffee.

Today I made Meara laugh, and it infected me.  I was also a humble servant of "Your Majesty Ailin" who requested a "DRINK OF WATER" during tea time.

I took time out of the school morning to water the seedlings I planted yesterday.  Seven tomato plants, six pepper plants, four cucumber plants, too many basil plants to count, and some cilantro.

Then it rained.

Today I tripped while entering the coop to water the chickens and doused myself with freezing cold water at 8AM.

I ran out of chicken feed.

Today I watched the world around me fall apart as I entered day two of "Next-Year-Curriculum-Ordering-Frenzy."

And this shocked me, though it happens every year.

Today I got dinner in the crockpot by 7:30AM, and fed my toddler flour-less chocolate cake for lunch.  At 3:30.

I brushed my teeth.  But not my hair.  And most definitely didn't shower.

Today I thought I was more anxious than Caeley to find out whether Little John escaped the Sheriff.

And was delighted to realize I was wrong.

Today Ailin grabbed me from behind, choked me by the neck, and said, "I love you, Mommy."

And later, upon entering the house, she asked "What's that terry (terrible) SMELL?" (That would be the dinner in the crockpot.)

This morning, I lost my "formal" morning prayer time and what I thought was my hope for a good day.

And then I was reminded constantly that the only way I make it through any of this is with God by my side.

Blessed Easter

Sometimes I just can't believe how blessed I am...how much love God has surrounded me with...what great friends I have...and what a wonderful community we have found ourselves in.  Every year I am reminded of this most especially on Easter, and what a beautiful Easter it was.  Praise God, from whom all blessings flow!

Thank you Tee Tee for the wonderful baskets!

Our sacrifice beans have turned into JELLY beans!

Ailin finds her basket!

Excited!

"A chicken that poops gum!"

Going straight for the chocolate...who needs the presents!?!

All dressed for "Alleluia" (as Ailin calls Mass....)

Will she ever learn to smile normally for the camera?

My big girl.

I couldn't get over how pretty Meara looked today.

Daddy's ladies.

Ready for the egg hunt.

Happy faces!

Game face.

More game faces.

See?!

 

Daddy explains the egg hunt to Baby A.

Sometimes all you need is a little helping hand.

Fred didn't miss any of the action!

Sisters battle it out!

Who needs to dye eggs?  This was the chickens' gift to us today: NINE eggs again!  The standing record.