Because I have young kids, I think it will be better to keep things a little bit fresh and manageable as opposed to the "easy to forget" resolutions that the girls like to make. Each day, we are going to draw three slips of paper-one for our daily fast, one for our daily prayer focus, and one for our daily almsgiving assignment. While it seems overwhelming, I think for my girls, doing something concrete and focused will help us "live Lent" each day, instead of saying in a nebulous way on Ash Wednesday, "Oh, um, I think I won't eat candy this Lent..." (and then mommy forgets, or caves, or child claims that she really meant "chocolate" but not gummy candy...)
Admittedly, coming up with FORTY ideas for fasting, praying, and almsgiving was really hard. I received some help from my Facebook friends, which I appreciate so much!!! In a good way, this experience has forced me to spend time pondering those three concepts. At first, I spent a couple days researching, researching, researching....asking myself, "What does the Church say about these things???" "Is there some Saint who wrote about this stuff???" and "Where can I find these these things in the Catechism of the Catholic Church????" Oh boy. Immediately I felt overwhelmed, and then something hit me. I don't have to be a theologian to celebrate Lent well. I don't have to have to worry about "doing it wrong" in some way. Lent is a really personal and special time not only for the Church as a community of worshippers, but also for us as individuals within it. Instead of approaching the topic from an intellectual standpoint, and realizing that no matter what, I'd probably get all the "theological stuff" wrong anyway, I decided it would be better to ask MYSELF, "What do fasting, prayer and almsgiving mean to me? How can I help bring them to life for my children? How can these Lenten practices bring us closer to Christ as a family?"
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| Yes! |
Fasting: To me, the idea behind fasting is to empty yourself. If you are empty of all the distractions, all the things that keep you from God, then you can fill yourself with Christ. This Lent, I want to ask myself, "What is keeping my gaze from Heaven?" For some people, technology is what fills up their hearts and minds, and so a fast from that would make sense. For others, it's the pleasure of food, alcohol, insistence on their own will, obsession with outward appearance, needless anxiety and worry about the future, etc. Whatever it is that "fills" us, makes us think we are more than we are, keeps us focused on ourselves, and/or holds us back from that fullness IN Christ, I guess those are the things that we are asked to give up in Lent. It reminds me of those famous words of John the Baptist: "He must increase. I must decrease." (John 3:30) But HE can't increase in us unless WE decrease. So fasting for us this year will be focusing on decreasing (or as some say, dying to) self. There's the other part of fasting, which is the suffering part. As members of a culture based on comfort-seeking and pleasure, most people probably have the hardest time embracing the idea of voluntarily suffering. But when we "suffer," even in little ways, it helps unite us to Christ's suffering, passion and death. Not only can we understand better what a huge sacrifice that was for us, but uniting those sufferings to Christ's becomes an efficacious type of prayer in itself that benefits those we pray for and unites us as a Church.
(One "intellectual" explanation here: the term "mortification" that is used in the document below means "the practice of asceticism by penitential discipline to overcome desire for sin and to strengthen the will." -Dictionary.com I think this is a good way to look at the benefits of denying ourselves---it can be used to strengthen us against sin. I want to thank a dear friend who helped me really think about fasting and mortification, and helped with many of the ideas on both this page and the prayer page. You know who you are! :-) )
(Here's a link to the document of "fasting cards"that we will use.)
Praying: Prayer becomes richer during Lent after all that "emptying." We've rid ourselves of so much, and suddenly Christ is living in us in a new way. Maybe we are noticing more how much He DOES work in our lives, and our hearts naturally begin to overflow with more love and more gratitude. What the fasting took away, the prayer is refilling with something new and beautiful. We are more aware of doing HIS will, not ours, because we are taking time to listen and ask Him what that is. And as we listen, we realize that He is directing us towards a good....
(Here's a link to the document of "praying cards" that we will use.)
Almsgiving: ...and that good He is directing us toward is the love of others, which manifests itself in our good works. This is where the almsgiving comes in. In many ways, this is also tied to fasting, because when we love others above ourselves, that IS a dying to self, that IS a sacrifice that requires us to "decrease" so that God and the welfare of others may be our first and foremost concern. It's like a big cyclical process, except all three (fasting, praying and almsgiving) are dependent on each other. Neither one really comes first, second, or third, but they coexist together, each working for the good of the other two. As I thought about what I wanted our "almsgiving" to look like, I felt really torn. I had trouble thinking of ways that we could do things as a family, even with little kids. I tried to narrow down my ideas by looking at almsgiving through the lens of these questions:
1. Who is God calling me to minister to in this moment? It might be the elderly person in the nursing home down the street, but it might also be my spouse, who I may have been ignoring out of selfishness for weeks (or perhaps haven't really listened to in a while.) It might also be one of my children who is having a rough day, and just needs some more of my time, time that I normally reserve for myself, which I will give up to care for him/her (again, also a "fast"/sacrifice in a way.)
2. What time, talents, and treasures do I have to offer to those who need them? I don't think there are many people who are blessed with time, talent, AND treasure, but most of us have one or two. So, those who can support charities financially can do that, those who have special talents like cooking, baking, sewing, etc. can put those to use for food kitchens, making meals for sick friends, or sewing baby blankets for a pregnancy center. We can volunteer our time to visit those who need some attention, or take the time to clear our homes of usable items to donate. There are so many things we can do.
3. Am I giving of MYSELF in a way that is pleasing God and building His Kingdom? This can be as simple as responding positively to someone, being kind, helpful, etc. I think that with the help of the fasting and praying, the answer to this last question about almsgiving is bound to be a yes.
(Here's a link to the document of "almsgiving cards" that we will use.)
Above all, I need to remember that all our fasting, praying, and almsgiving matter little if our hearts, minds, and eyes are not directed toward Heaven. A big trap for me during Lent is to spend SO much time thinking about whether I'm fasting, praying, or almsgiving well enough, that I forget to behold Christ, to ponder all that He did for me. In the end, to quote my friend Alexis, "It isn't about us." It most certainly isn't. It's about God sending His Son into this world to save our sorry selves. It's about how much we need Him, how much we acknowledge our need for Him, and how much we love Him back by the way we live. I hope that this Lent will be one in which I remember that.
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| I found this quote by Mother Teresa after I finished this post and was searching the web for pictures. I do not think that it was a coincidence, and think I will print it and put it on my fridge! |
