Preparing Him Room

We have had a much needed break from our school routine this week. I honestly think that I needed the break more than the girls, as half way through the week Caeley said to me, "I can't wait to get back to school, Mom," and meanwhile I was just getting into the vacation groove!  For me, this "vacation" has not only been a time for house projects and school planning, but also a time to look forward to and prepare for my favorite time of year---Advent. 

My new prayer spot.

Although I didn't realize it, all week I have quietly been preparing.  I thought perhaps it was just my OCD at work, as I tackled a gross-closet-clean-up-project every day this week. No more disheveled coat closet belching jackets, gloves, hats and scarves when opened.  No more downstairs bathroom pantry/closet/storage/linen space confused about its identity. And best of all, the office and school room closets are cleaned out, ready for another trimester of school and for the stashing of Christmas presents.  In addition, we moved the futon frame out of my office, put its mattress on the school room floor so we can now ALL sit and read stories there, and moved the gigantic living room chair into the futon space in my office.  I now have a comfortable, special place to sit and pray in my "mom cave," and we have a nice, BIG spot waiting for a Christmas tree (for the first time ever in this house!)  These seem like such minor changes, but by about mid-week, I began to realize the connection between all these physical space changes and how they really mirror how I see this coming season. 

Next to my chair: our wedding picture, and the painting my Aunt Sara
gave us for our ten year anniversary.
(It's  of the mansion where we held our wedding reception.)
My prayer books are tucked behind...

Cleaning for me is not just therapeutic because I hate messes in my personal space.  Although I do, it is certainly more than that.  I feel that I can breathe and function more clearly when things are simple, sparse, organized.  When my environment makes sense, it seems easier to make sense of my soul.  Of course, I can also find things when I need them and the girls can function more independently, but I also feel a sense of freedom to concentrate on more important things.  I feel prepared for what life throws at me.  The questions and surprises are simply less daunting.

This afternoon Caeley and I went to confession together again, and it felt the same way.  It felt like decluttering. Being forgiven of your sins, no matter how big or how small, is like letting go of some things to make room for the more important things.  Like major cleaning and reorganizing projects, you often wait until things are in utter disarray to go, and perhaps it would've been better to tackle the project months ago.  But the reality is you didn't, and the important thing is to just tackle it, especially before it gets worse.  Maybe you haven't "cleaned out your closets in years."  Maybe you haven't been to confession since your first confession when you were eight.  Maybe the thought of going into a confessional makes you want to puke.  Or cry.  Or scares you so badly that you are paralyzed.  Or you are too embarrassed to admit that it's been so long.  Or you are taking your no. 2 pencil and bubbling in "Letter D: All of the Above."  But once you clean out your soul closet (and if you're like me, maybe get some new labels and bins for organizing things), you'll have so much more room for all the graces waiting for you.  When you open yourself up to God and a right relationship with him, all the hats, gloves and scarves won't come falling out, hit you in the face, and keep you from growing closer to Him.  More of your life will make sense.  There might be questions, and even surprises, but you will be able to handle them with the graces you've been given in the sacrament. 



Tomorrow is the first day of Advent, and the beginning of a new liturgical year.  There will be some changes to the mass, with the new edition of the Roman Missal, and so tomorrow will feel like a fresh start for ALL Catholics.  It would be a perfect time, as individuals, to take advantage of this fresh start by doing a bit of our own soul cleaning.  What a special way to enter this new year by receiving God's forgiveness for all the "mess in our closets."  What a special way to "let every heart prepare Him room."  As my daughter said coming down the stairs of the church today, "Confession is scary, but when you're done, you feel as light as a feather!"  


If you're scared, or don't know where to start, here are some links to help you.  (You can really Google anything these days!  As a disclaimer: I found these links on Google, and can't vouch for the other content on these pages. I just thought they looked like a good, basic place to start.)   


http://www.beginningcatholic.com/catholic-examination-of-conscience.html


http://www.ncregister.com/info/confession_guide_for_adults/


Here are some tips: http://romancleric.blogspot.com/2006/12/20-tips-for-good-confession.html


(My own personal tip: if you are really, really embarrassed to attend at your own parish, just pick a random parish where you are more anonymous for your first "biggie."  Also, if you haven't been in a million years, you aren't the first person in that position, so just tell the priest that!  He will be kind with you, welcome you back, and maybe even walk you through the process if you stumble and forget!)


To find the nearest place to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation, visit http://www.masstimes.org/