Lard Part 3: "Fat" Tuesday

Well, here we are, part three of the "Lard Journey."  My nostrils might be singed, but I have roughly eighteen cups of smooth, beautiful, white fat to show for it.  As promised, this is the "How to Make Lard" post.

Here's what to do:

1.) Procure large quantities of properly sourced pig fat.  (Thanks again to Beau at Rettland Farm for the fat he provided for this project!)

2.) Figure out how to make lard.  (Thank you, God, for the Internet, which allows ignorant people like me to learn crazy new things!)  While I consulted MANY websites, I found out rather quickly, that making lard in a crockpot is a bit of different experience than the stovetop or oven methods.  While most websites claimed that the whole thing would take a "couple of hours," I found that barely anything had happened to my lard after a couple of hours.  That led to a frantic internet search where I stumbled upon this website that depicts most accurately the time it takes to make lard in a crockpot.  (How fitting that it is called "Chickens in the Road!"  I promise I didn't let that sway me in choosing it as my favorite web resource!)

3.) Follow the directions you find online.  But please, for the love of your family, for the love of your furniture and clothing (especially if it is winter and you can't really open windows), and for love of any future visitors to your house, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT MAKE LARD INSIDE.  I have to confess here (it is almost Lent after all) that I felt completely unprepared for the stench.  Beau was kind enough to warn me not to do it inside, and THANK GOODNESS he did.  Because I had so much fat, and was worried that my slow-cooker wouldn't hold it all, I almost caved in and did it in the oven in my gigantic enameled cast iron pot.  I am so so so so so so so so glad I didn't do that!  To tell you that the process smells just doesn't give it due justice.  Think skunk.  Not alive, but dead and rotting on your kitchen floor...after it sprayed itself.  (Okay, maybe that's an exaggeration, but it really smells foul!)  If you do it in a garage, though, the smell doesn't seem to have much to hold on to (carpet, fabric, etc.) and so it is gone fairly quickly.  I do not say this to deter anyone from making lard, but I refuse to paint this entire process as a walk in the park, complete with fairies spewing glitter everywhere and angelic choirs singing.  Making lard is not such an experience.  Gardening?  Maybe.  Chickens?  Sometimes.  Lard?  Not so much.

Lest I bore you with words---here are the pictures (and some more words, sorry!) of my lard making adventure.

The hardest part of making lard, as I soon discovered, is cutting it all up.  I was an idiot, and tried to put cool (not frozen) lard into my food processor.  It then became basically like Crisco.  The idea is to get small uniform pieces that will render down quickly.  HINT: Leave lard almost frozen if you plan to use machinery to cut it.  I decided in the end not to re-freeze the lard and abandoned the Cuisinart because I was afraid a job that big would burn the poor thing out! 

Knife and board cutting begins.  This process took me two hours.   HINT: Next time employ the help of a friend who wants to share your lard.  Unless you are used to cutting up stuff for hours on end, or unless it's gardening season and you have your farmer muscles back, your hands will hurt the next day.  

But they will be deliciously moisturized by the oily fat. 

Here's the lard going into my new Ninja Slow-Cooker.  (Thanks MOM!)  It worked beautifully!  Before you put the lard in, add a bit of liquid, about a quarter cup or so, to keep the fat from burning.  Who knows if that's really necessary, but the directions said so, and I'm a rule follower.

Still chopping.

The pack of fat is getting smaller....but there's still a lot left.

STILL CHOPPING.  But look how full the slow cooker is!

Almost done! 

This extra bit wouldn't fit in the pot.  I just let the original batch cook down for about an hour and then added it in. 

All packed and ready.

I set the time on LOW for about 4 hours.  Silly me listening to directions on people's blogs!  :-)  Apparently, you have to be careful not to burn the fat, which is why I did it on low.  I suppose I could've set it to high just to see what would happen, and hurry up the process, but with such precious fat, and a new slow-cooker that I'm not used to, I didn't want to risk it.

After 4.5 hours, you can see that the fat isn't totally rendered.  There are still large chunks floating on top.

According to legend, the secret is to wait until the pieces of fat sink to the bottom.  Those are apparently the pieces that you can make into crackling.  I had started the crockpot at about 2:30 in the afternoon.  Here you see it, at 11:30 that night.  That's way more than a "couple hours!"  I bet I could've let it cook even longer, but I knew cooking it through the night would've been sketchy.  I'm not sure if it's possible to OVER render lard, but again, I didn't want to risk it, so I proceeded to the next step.

Line a fine mesh strainer with cheesecloth that you don't ever intend to see, smell or use again.   Ladle the chunky stuff (it looks like dog vomit, and probably smells like it) into the cheesecloth strainer.  Press gently.

What comes out is a mildly yellow liquid fat.  Ideally, there are no chunks or pieces of stuff in it.   

 Here you can see I was left with about two cups of leftover solids.  I opted not to do anything with them.  First of all, it was midnight.  Second of all, I knew if I wanted to cook them down, I'd probably have to tend to the cooking of them.  That would've meant doing it inside the house, or to avoid the stench, sitting on the freezing cold garage floor.  At midnight.  Cooking cracklings.  I'm crazy, but I didn't feel that crazy.  Part of me still feels badly about this.  I really hate wasting stuff, even barfy-looking chunks of pig fat.  Isn't that weird?  Next time, I will know more about the timing, and I promise to update this post with the joys of cracklings.  (The website I linked to explains that process, FYI.)

After all the liquid is strained into the pot, ladle it into clean wide-mouth jars.  I was really happy to find all these canning jars leftover from canning season!  Place the jars in the refrigerator.

Come back in the morning.  LOOK!  Beautiful, white, pure, healthy lard.  Just like our grannies would've made!  Set up the jars for a photo op.

What people won't tell you:

1.  Pig fat has "stuff" in it.  Like skin or weak tendons or something (I'm no bio major, bear with me.)  When you're cutting it, don't expect it to be silky smooth and easy.  It's more like cutting the skin off of chicken breasts.  I don't have super great knives, so this was more work for me than I thought it was going to be.  Please don't laugh, but I also have "issues" with cutting meat, and this gave me that same icky feeling.  (I DO have so far to go before becoming even remotely legit as a "farmer" in regard to meat and its processing.  But at least I can cut up raw chicken now.  When we were first married, I made Ken do it.)

2.  If you want it to be easier to cut, leave it frozen.  But bear in mind that most everyday kitchen machinery is probably not built to cut up huge pieces of frozen pig fat.  I wasn't willing to risk my Cuisinart, which is the one appliance I would probably rescue in a fire.

3.  It smells.  I've already explained this in depth.  But in case you skipped everything but the pictures, I'll say it again:  Don't do it inside.  Consider yourself warned.

4.  Unless you use machinery of some sort, the cutting of the fat will take considerable time.  Enlist help.  Preferably someone with strong forearms and hands and a good knife.

5.  If you are using a slow-cooker on low, this process takes a heck of a lot longer than the "couple of hours" you read about on the Internet.

6.  There ends up being a lot of trash with this project.  I used an entire roll of paper towels.  We don't have a garbage disposal, and even if we did, I don't think you're supposed to put fat down it.  So every utensil, jar, pot, counter surface, etc. had to be wiped with something I could throw away.  (I also don't think you're supposed to wash stuff in a washing machine that is soiled with large quantities of oil---at least not in a house with sketchy plumbing.  So I didn't use kitchen rags for clean up either.)  Anyway, it just seemed that the cleanup process was more complicated than just washing some dishes.  I couldn't throw stuff in the sink and I was constantly twirling around thinking about where to wipe all that fat.

7.  Finished lard will have a slight smell.  Not horrible or strongly pungent, but it smells slightly of pork, and here I don't mean cooked bacon.  When you use it to make stuff, though, that odor doesn't seem to translate into the finished products.  I've used lots of lard in cooking, and nothing has ever tasted weird or like the smell of the lard.

8.  Making lard is not hard.  But it's work.  See #4 and #6.  (I'm sure it will get easier every time I make it, though.)  Like all worthwhile things, it takes time.  And so we've arrived at the million dollar question:

Is it worth it?:

Yes, absolutely!  Even without the fairies and angelic choirs, I would do it again for sure.  I'd even consider making it for people who didn't want to bother.  Just bring me your (good) fat.  Stay a while and help me chop if you want to be part of the process.  I have a garage, and while it's no summer or canning kitchen (drool), it'll do.  (Be forewarned: I might require a payment of a couple jars to keep me in supply!)   

Happy Fat Tuesday!

Christina R.-This one's for you!

Lent: Thoughts on Fasting, Praying, and Almsgiving

I have decided on a couple simple projects to celebrate Lent, but the main areas of focus for us this year are really going to be those traditional three tenets: fasting, praying, and almsgiving.   (I realized quickly that this post got too long to include our "fun" stuff, so I will try to do a separate post for that....)

Because I have young kids, I think it will be better to keep things a little bit fresh and manageable as opposed to the "easy to forget" resolutions that the girls like to make.  Each day, we are going to draw three slips of paper-one for our daily fast, one for our daily prayer focus, and one for our daily almsgiving assignment.  While it seems overwhelming, I think for my girls, doing something concrete and focused will help us "live Lent" each day, instead of saying in a nebulous way on Ash Wednesday, "Oh, um, I think I won't eat candy this Lent..."  (and then mommy forgets, or caves, or child claims that she really meant "chocolate" but not gummy candy...)

Admittedly, coming up with FORTY ideas for fasting, praying, and almsgiving was really hard.  I received some help from my Facebook friends, which I appreciate so much!!!  In a good way, this experience has forced me to spend time pondering those three concepts.  At first, I spent a couple days researching, researching, researching....asking myself, "What does the Church say about these things???"  "Is there some Saint who wrote about this stuff???" and "Where can I find these these things in the Catechism of the Catholic Church????"  Oh boy.  Immediately I felt overwhelmed, and then something hit me.  I don't have to be a theologian to celebrate Lent well.  I don't have to have to worry about "doing it wrong" in some way.  Lent is a really personal and special time not only for the Church as a community of worshippers, but also for us as individuals within it.  Instead of approaching the topic from an intellectual standpoint, and realizing that no matter what, I'd probably get all the "theological stuff" wrong anyway,  I decided it would be better to ask MYSELF, "What do fasting, prayer and almsgiving mean to me?  How can I help bring them to life for my children?  How can these Lenten practices bring us closer to Christ as a family?"

Yes!

Below are some of my thoughts on fasting, praying and almsgiving.  These are the thoughts, along with the input of my friends, that guided me in making the "cards" that we will draw each day.  I hope that some if it is helpful to those of you that gave your input.  (And here are the cards I promised you!)

Fasting:  To me, the idea behind fasting is to empty yourself.  If you are empty of all the distractions, all the things that keep you from God, then you can fill yourself with Christ.  This Lent, I want to ask myself, "What is keeping my gaze from Heaven?"  For some people, technology is what fills up their hearts and minds, and so a fast from that would make sense.  For others, it's the pleasure of food, alcohol, insistence on their own will, obsession with outward appearance, needless anxiety and worry about the future, etc.  Whatever it is that "fills" us, makes us think we are more than we are, keeps us focused on ourselves, and/or holds us back from that fullness IN Christ, I guess those are the things that  we are asked to give up in Lent.  It reminds me of those famous words of John the Baptist:  "He must increase.  I must decrease." (John 3:30)  But HE can't increase in us unless WE decrease.  So fasting for us this year will be focusing on decreasing (or as some say, dying to) self.  There's the other part of fasting, which is the suffering part.  As members of a culture based on comfort-seeking and pleasure, most people probably have the hardest time embracing the idea of voluntarily suffering.  But when we "suffer," even in little ways, it helps unite us to Christ's suffering, passion and death.  Not only can we understand better what a huge sacrifice that was for us, but uniting those sufferings to Christ's becomes an efficacious type of prayer in itself that benefits those we pray for and unites us as a Church.

(One "intellectual" explanation here: the term "mortification" that is used in the document below means "the practice of asceticism by penitential discipline to overcome desire for sin and to strengthen the will." -Dictionary.com  I think this is a good way to look at the benefits of denying ourselves---it can be used to strengthen us against sin.  I want to thank a dear friend who helped me really think about fasting and mortification, and helped with many of the ideas on both this page and the prayer page.  You know who you are!  :-) )

(Here's a link to the document of "fasting cards"that we will use.)

Praying:  Prayer becomes richer during Lent after all that "emptying."  We've rid ourselves of so much, and suddenly Christ is living in us in a new way.  Maybe we are noticing more how much He DOES work in our lives, and our hearts naturally begin to overflow with more love and more gratitude.  What the fasting took away, the prayer is refilling with something new and beautiful.  We are more aware of doing HIS will, not ours, because we are taking time to listen and ask Him what that is.  And as we listen, we realize that He is directing us towards a good....

(Here's a link to the document of "praying cards" that we will use.)

Almsgiving: ...and that good He is directing us toward is the love of others, which manifests itself in our good works.  This is where the almsgiving comes in.  In many ways, this is also tied to fasting, because when we love others above ourselves, that IS a dying to self, that IS a sacrifice that requires us to "decrease" so that God and the welfare of others may be our first and foremost concern.  It's like a big cyclical process, except all three (fasting, praying and almsgiving) are dependent on each other.  Neither one really comes first, second, or third, but they coexist together, each working for the good of the other two.  As I thought about what I wanted our "almsgiving" to look like, I felt really torn.  I had trouble thinking of ways that we could do things as a family, even with little kids.  I tried to narrow down my ideas by looking at almsgiving through the lens of these questions:

1.  Who is God calling me to minister to in this moment?  It might be the elderly person in the nursing home down the street, but it might also be my spouse, who I may have been ignoring out of selfishness for weeks (or perhaps haven't really listened to in a while.)  It might also be one of my children who is having a rough day, and just needs some more of my time, time that I normally reserve for myself, which I will give up to care for him/her (again, also a "fast"/sacrifice in a way.)

2.  What time, talents, and treasures do I have to offer to those who need them?  I don't think there are many people who are blessed with time, talent, AND treasure, but most of us have one or two.  So, those who can support charities financially can do that, those who have special talents like cooking, baking, sewing, etc. can put those to use for food kitchens, making meals for sick friends, or sewing baby blankets for a pregnancy center.  We can volunteer our time to visit those who need some attention, or take the time to clear our homes of usable items to donate.  There are so many things we can do.  

3.  Am I giving of MYSELF in a way that is pleasing God and building His Kingdom?  This can be as simple as responding positively to someone, being kind, helpful, etc.  I think that with the help of the fasting and praying, the answer to this last question about almsgiving is bound to be a yes.

(Here's a link to the document of "almsgiving cards" that we will use.)

Above all, I need to remember that all our fasting, praying, and almsgiving matter little if our hearts, minds, and eyes are not directed toward Heaven.  A big trap for me during Lent is to spend SO much time thinking about whether I'm fasting, praying, or almsgiving well enough, that I forget to behold Christ, to ponder all that He did for me.  In the end, to quote my friend Alexis, "It isn't about us."  It most certainly isn't.  It's about God sending His Son into this world to save our sorry selves.  It's about how much we need Him, how much we acknowledge our need for Him, and how much we love Him back by the way we live.  I hope that this Lent will be one in which I remember that.

I found this quote by Mother Teresa after I finished this post and was searching the web for pictures.   I do not think that it was a coincidence, and think I will print it and put it on my fridge!

Lard Part 2: Cooking with Lard

I promised that part two of my lard series would be about cooking with lard.  I'm very tempted to jump ahead to step three, now that I have picked up the biggest sack of pig fat I've ever seen from Rettland Farm....

...but the lard making will have to wait!  I will start with a couple of my favorite recipes using it.  The first, from a cookbook called More With Less: Recipes and Suggestions By Mennonites on How to Eat Better and Consume Less of the World's Resources is a basic recipe for refried beans.  I know, I know, most people hate refried beans.  But I LOVE them.  For a short time after I got married, I bought the canned refried beans from the store, and never thought anything of it.  Then one day I looked at the label and saw "lard" and I thought, "Well that can't be good for me!"  And I gave up eating them.  Fast forward a good many years, and a good many cookbooks, books and food documentaries later, and I come to find out that lard (properly sourced) isn't bad for you!  In fact, it's a very healthy alternative to the processed fats found in the grocery store.  (See my previous blog post on lard for more info.)  Around the same time, it also happened that one of the cookbook bees in my kitchen bonnet was More With Less which had a super simple recipe for refried beans.  I had to try it!  And once I did, I never went back to canned refried beans.  I make these in a fairly large batch--often doubling or tripling the recipe below.  Then, I place two cups of the beans into a quart sized ziplock bag, shmush the bag flat, and freeze the beans in little piles.  These make the BEST mexican dips, nachos, wraps, etc. and are especially nice to have on hand for meatless Fridays in Lent!  Here is the recipe from "More With Less."

I realize this looks like dog barf, but I promise, it doesn't taste like it!

Bagged Beans

Mexican Refried Beans

1.  Soak overnight 1lb. dried pinto, pink or kidney beans.

2.  Add: 6 cups water and 2 chopped onions (optional, but I would never leave them out!)

3.  Bring to a boil, cover and simmer until beans are tender (about 3 hours).  I also do this in my crockpot, just letting the beans cook until they are pretty mushy.

(Although it doesn't say so, if there's still too much liquid in the beans, I drain some of the liquid off at this point.)

4.  Mash beans with a potato masher (I use my immersion blender.)

5.  Add 1/2 cup hot bacon drippings or lard.

6.  Mix well and continue cooking, stirring frequently until the beans are thickened and the fat is absorbed.

Salt to taste and add optional seasonings like chili powder, cumin, etc.  (I leave them plain for picky children.)

Pie Crusts

I have used lard often as an ingredient in pie crusts, turnovers, or empanadas.  Lard makes pastry tasty and fluffy.  I don't have a standard pie crust recipe, because unfortunately I'm one of those people that likes to try new recipes all the time.  I've used the one from King Arthur Flour's website numerous times with wonderful results.  A quick Google search will reveal tons of lard pie crusts.  In fact, just out of curiosity, I Googled it again today, and imagine my joy when I stumbled upon this book:  Lard: The Lost Art of Cooking with Your Grandmother's Secret Ingredient by the editors of Grit Magazine! (This might be one I have to get my hands on soon!)  The MotherEarth News website has given us a preview of the pie crust recipe from the book, which I am including below.  

Ingredients:

3 cups all-purpose unbleached flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 1/4 cups lard, cold and coarsely chopped
1 egg
5 1/2 tablespoons water
1 teaspoon vinegar 

Instructions:

In a large bowl, combine the flour and salt. Using a pastry blender, cut in the lard until the mixture is very fine. In a separate bowl, beat together the egg, water, and vinegar.

Make a small well in the flour mixture and add the liquid; mix just until the dough comes together in a ball. Divide the dough into 4 equal pieces and flatten into disks; wrap individually in plastic and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes before rolling.

To make a double-crust pie with a solid top crust, roll out 2 disks of dough about 1 inch larger than the pie plate. Fit one crust into the bottom of the pie plate. Fill the pie with the desired filling; slightly moisten the edge of the bottom crust. Take the second crust, fold it in half, gently place it over the pie filling, and unfold, centering it on the pie plate; press the edges into the bottom crust to seal. Trim the excess dough to leave an overhang of about 3/4 inch. Crimp or flute the edges with your fingers. To allow steam to escape, gently prick the top crust with a fork several times or slash vents with a sharp knife.  (Makes 4 single or 2 double pie crusts)

Biscuits and Scones!

The only time I ever made successful biscuits was when I used lard.  Oh my gosh, they were terrific, flaky, and dangerous enough that I haven't made them again because my children went nutty over them.  Don't get me wrong, it's nice when they like my cooking, but since I am trying to move them away from the "Beige Carbohydrate Diet" that they crave so much, making another batch of biscuits seemed like a bad idea!  I can't remember which recipe I used for the biscuits, but again, Google to the rescue!  I think these Ham and Cheese Lard Biscuits by Emeril Legasse sound like heaven, especially if you are using some ham or bacon from Rettland Farm!  :-)   

I can't talk about cooking without admitting my Downton Abbey obsession.  One of the things I love about the show, aside from that hysterical Maggie Smith, is the food culture it portrays.  Many scenes with the servants happen in the kitchen, where something is always cooking.  And its seems the family is constantly around some table or other, eating or having tea.  During these scenes, I feel like I spend an unusual amount of time trying to figure out what they are actually eating!  Well, no longer do I have to wonder!  This website is devoted ENTIRELY to the food (and food culture) of Downton Abbey and that period in history.  (Could the Foodie Downton-Wannabies of the world be any happier???!!)  On that website I found a scone recipe, and feel pretty certain it will be making an appearance in our house soon.  I am no chef, but I wonder if a little lard/butter combination, or even substituting all lard in the scone recipe would make them even fluffier?    

My friend Kristina, who knew I was doing this "lard series" brought over an entire crateful of wonderful old cookbooks/homemaking books.  Some of these, no joke, are from the late 1800s and early 1900s.  Looking through the books this week has felt like taking a stroll back in time.  (I appreciated this experience so much, as I often feel that I was born in the wrong one!)  I thought I'd share a recipe or two from my favorite book of the bunch.  The title: A Thousand Ways to Please a Husband.  (No good Catholic blogger could post a book with such a title if it hadn't been written in 1917!)

If you have any favorite lard recipes, be sure to send them my way!  Hopefully I'll have a nice tub of it to put to use soon!  And stay tuned for the last installment, where I will document the lard-making process!  Can't wait!

Why Lard?

I will soon begin a lard-making adventure as part of a joint project with one of my farmers, Beau.  I ran out of lard today, and emailed him (and sent out a Facebook plea) to see if anyone knew where I could find properly sourced lard.  Beau informed me that he had none, but he has fat from his delicious, properly raised pigs.  Long story short, he agreed to give me the fat if I'd make some lard and document the experience for his farm blog.  A farm/cooking adventure???!!  What could be more up my alley??!!!

Of course, my wheels were spinning right away, and after some of the comments/questions in response to my Facebook plea for lard, I decided I would preemptively write about lard before my big experiment.  Before I get to the "why" of cooking and using lard, let's answer my friend Cynthia's question, "What is lard?"  Lard is the rendered fat of a pig.  It is a solid when cold or at cooler room temperature, and liquid when heated.  For a little more information, I thought the Wiki article wasn't half bad.

Lard has a fascinating history in our country.  Of course, there's more to it, but the girls and I are reading the Little House on the Prairie series, and Ma cooks and bakes with lard and butter...that's about it.  When you think of it, these were the fats they had on hand, which they made from the animals they had raised.  Flash forward to modern times, and for anyone concerned about eating healthy, eating local, using all parts of the animal, or returning to traditional foods, lard just makes sense.  For this reason, it is making a huge comeback in foodie circles, especially among those using Nourishing Traditions cooking style and those who are concerned about healthy fats and nutrient dense "real" food.  A year ago, NPR did a great five minute bit called "Who Killed Lard?" as part of their "All Things Considered" program.  If you are interested in how lard was pushed out of dietary favor, give it a listen.

The reality is that properly sourced** lard is actually very healthy for you.  We all need fat in our diets...but not Big Mac or Twinkie fat.  We need good fats like those found in high quality olive oil, coconut oil, and...lard.  When I went to Google to find a quick synopsis of the health benefits of lard, there was an overwhelming amount of stuff to sift through.  For this reason alone, it surprises me how far away from lard we have moved as a culture.  But there's no point reinventing the wheel...here is the website I found that provides the most comprehensive look at lard, without being overwhelming.  I also like the fact that it is a farm blog (and not someone trying to sell something) and it lists websites and books you can check out for more information.  When you read it, it's kinda amazing how good it really is for you, and sad it is not more readily available.  (**Important to note, which I am excerpting from the website above:  "Organically raised, foraging and outdoor range hogs have the healthiest lard.  Conventionally raised pork get virtually no exercise...and eat no greens.  Much of their diet is of the lowest possible quality.  This lard is of equally low quality.  The diet and lifestyle of the hog radically affect the quality of the lard.")

I'm really looking forward to picking up my quality pig fat from Rettland Farm next week and trying my hand at making my own lard.  My next post will answer my friend Lauren's question: "What do you use lard for???"

Thanking, Laughing, Celebrating, Praying, & Planning

Thanking: What I'm Thankful For Lately

# 1: My chicken overalls.  It has been so cold in the mornings when I go out to water, feed, and check for eggs and these pants make my life so much easier.  It might seem like a dumb thing to be thankful for, but it's about the little things... 

This is not me.  But these are my Carhartt quilted overalls.  They make me feel like a farmer.

# 2: My friends.  I'm especially thankful for the love and support of the wonderful community of women I have around me.  This is a really small town.  It's a rural town.  I was terrified to move here, thinking there'd be "slim pickins" when it came to connecting with other like-minded women.  Boy, was I so wrong in so many ways.  We've been here four years, and I'm at the point where I realize just how much the friends I've made have come to mean to me.  I'm so grateful that I have friends that I can talk to about: God, my prayer life, NFP, nursing, farming, gardening, "real food," home-birthing, parenting choices, homeschooling, blogging, farm dreams, church teachings, etc. etc.  But it hasn't always been easy---when you love people, and grow close to them, you give them the ability to hurt you or to SEE who you really are, and that can be scary.  It's taken me years to realize that to me, it's worth it.  It's worth working through things, it's worth being vulnerable, it's worth letting people get to know the real me.  I'm humbled not just by the fact that they DO see me and love me for who I am, but by the ways they have taught me to see parts of myself that I am blind to (like the ugly ones).  I can't get over how blessed I am to have the friends, both old, and new, that are a part of my life.  

# 4: Good TV:  I admit it---I love Downton Abbey.  I was just talking to a friend today about WHY this show is so popular.  We brainstormed together, and came up with a couple ideas: at its core, it's about stuff we can all relate to.  From servant to master, everyone has to play their "role" and struggles with their place in the society or the family.  There are saints, there are sinners, and in their world, as in ours, the two are at constant odds with each other.  But really, it's mostly about the clothes and the decorum.  :-)  (I really wish I was part of an era when people "dressed for dinner" and every night was a fabulous dinner party....)  And can Maggie Smith be any funnier????!!!  

#5: The RAVENS:  We're going to the SUPERBOWL!!!  What great playoff football, and how excited we are for our team!!!  We are a little sad to say goodbye to #52, though. 

Laughing: Funny Moments

#1: People have asked, "How are the chickens doing in this cold weather???"  For the most part, there are zero concerns about the chickens.  But I do have to be careful with the Leghorns, who are white with these beautiful, large red combs.  In temperatures that are too cold for too long, apparently their combs can get frostbite.  To prevent this, you are supposed to spread Vaseline on them.  I ran around the house frantically searching for Vaseline one morning.  I didn't find any, but I did find some unopened MotherLove Nipple Cream from my nursing days.  I figured it would have to do, and have spent two mornings of my week massaging nipple cream into the combs of three of my chickens.  (This is where motherhood and farming strangely intersect...) 

Here's one of the Leghorns scratching in the garden in the summer. 

Here you can see how much bigger the Leghorn's combs are than the combs of the other chickens.

# 2: At mass today, in the tiny daily-mass chapel on campus, we had one of the funnier mass-going experiences we've had in recent history.  As the priest was elevating the host, there was a silent pause right before the congregation was to respond with "Lord I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof..."  BUT, in the silent pause, right before anyone spoke, my lovely birthday girl decided to let out the worst, longest, loudest, cat-dying-in-her-pants fart---ever.  And not only that, it had TWO movements.  Forget about the mortification for a minute, but trying to keep the older two girls from wetting themselves next to me (and pretending it wasn't the funniest thing that's happened in a long time) was so hard.  I feel so bad for the people sitting around us, who had a lovely moment stolen from them....oops.

Praying

I'm working on my prayer life hard for 2013.  Although it can sometimes feel bit schizophrenic with all the different things I turn to for prayer (right now my anchors are St. Faustina's Diary, the Liturgy of the Hours, Lectio Divina on Colossians, In Conversation with God, and a daily rosary) it's also really humbling to see the way that on many occasions, the same "message or theme" will run through this stuff on any given day.  There's nothing that makes you feel more "seen" by God than when He pounds you over the head with same message everywhere you turn.  So I figure I'll just keep turning and keep my eyes open for what He's saying.  I've also found a strange irony that the more time I spend in prayer each day, the more likely I am to accomplish everything I set out to do that day.  I had all these grand plans for 2013---to learn new skills and hunt and knit and fish and....and I think God just wants me to sit with Him for a while.  And garden, and cook, and homeschool, and clean, and love those He has placed in my life.  It has been a wonderfully fruitful spiritual life so far this year, which has transferred to the other areas of my life, and so I'll stick with His plan and forego my own ambitions for now.  

Celebrating: My Baby Is THREE

Ailin turned three today, but we really celebrated it on Monday, when Daddy was home from work for MLK day.  I remember my pregnancy (very not-fondly) and her birth (very fondly) and can't believe that was all 3+ years ago.  Time does fly, but I'm so glad that our days are spent together, enjoying this baby-toddlerhood before it's all over.  

The morning began with a rousing round of Uno, her favorite game.  She just happened to get a lucky 3! 

The Bilibo, as weird as it is, has been nothing but amazing fun for all three girls this week!  Hooray for gifts that work.

The Bilibo game has also been really neat.  Total creativity about what you want to do with the pieces. 

Sister fun.

Brunch at Panera.

Trip to the bookstore to pick out some books.

Off to the movies.  The glasses were cool, but apparently the movie, Monsters, Inc., was too scary.

Relaxing story time with big "sisty" when we got home.

Really happy we won the game on Sunday.  Otherwise eating these cupcakes on Monday would've been more than just bittersweet.

Happy Birthday Baby A!!! 

Planning

# 1: Garden: Believe it or not, it's time to start planning for the gardening season.  I'm telling myself I'll wait until after the football season ends, because once I open those catalogs, the fever will begin...but I have also learned the hard way that many of the seeds and plants I want will be sold out by the time I go to buy them if I wait too long.  It's here.  It's time.  It feels cold to us, but before we know it, the earth will be green with life again, and we'll be shedding the sweaters and stuffing our faces with all the things we gave up for Lent.  I'm crazy with giddiness just thinking about the tabula rasa that I have out there to be planted.  There's nothing like it.  I pulled some pictures of last year's garden just to remind myself of what's coming...

The garden fence has been taken down and the garden expanded.  Most of what you see here will be fallow next year and the new beds will be planted instead.

My mouth waters looking at this.  I don't eat tomatoes out of season, so it feels like forever since I've popped a warm Sungold tomato in my mouth!!!  I can't wait!!!

  

#2: Lent: I'm determined to reclaim Lent, since I feel like Advent was kinda stolen from me.  The stress of Christmas this year was greater for me than it usually is, and I don't want my Lent to be that way.  Lent is always a really special time for me and this year, with some pre-planning, I hope to live it in a way that pleases God and brings me and the family closer to Him.  I'm in the middle of praying and thinking about how I want our Lent to look, but hope to do a "Lent Plans" post soon.

#3: School Year 2013-2014:  I'm ashamed to admit it.  I had my first thought about next year's curriculum choices today.  A book on one of the school room shelves caught my eye---one that I bought years ago thinking it would work, but it was too advanced for our needs then.  I've been saving it until we were ready.  I think it will be perfect for next year, and I pulled it down today.  It's sitting on my desk, reminding me of all the work (work that I really love!) ahead...

Never a Humbug!

Very soon it will be Advent and my favorite time of year.  We recently finished reading The Hobbit, which was supposed to take us the entire school year.  Not surprisingly, though, we finished it earlier than I expected.  (Who can resist the lure of hairy-footed hobbits and dragons???!!!)

To fill that "literature" spot in our school schedule, we decided to give Dickens' A Christmas Carol another shot.  We had tried reading it together last year, when the girls were in third grade and kindergarten, and it just didn't work.  But two weeks ago, I hesitatingly cracked it open again and it has been a rousing success!  While I still have to take time to look up explain some antiquated English terms to the girls, it has been a much smoother run so far this year than last.  It also helps that the girls aren't as "scared"as they were last year.  (Perhaps I can thank my husband for toughening their skin by introducing them to Cobra with the old-school G.I. Joe cartoons?)

I can't decide if the best part of this new journey into A Christmas Carol has been the quality of the book, or the beautiful religious imagery that has given us so much to talk about.  We are reading the hardback copy illustrated by P.J. Lynch.  (For those of you familiar with The Christmas Miracle of Jonathan Toomey, it's the same illustrator!)  Each illustration is truly a work of art and seems to bring the text alive for the girls.  If you are seeking out a nice copy of this book, I can't recommend this one enough!  (Please note, if you "look inside" the book on Amazon, you are seeing a DIFFERENT version than the one we are reading.  The pictures below are the actual pictures of the version to which I am referring.)

We just finished the first chapter, and I can already see the girls processing Scrooge's journey in light of our own faith.  A couple of our favorite quotes from the text have been:

"I wear the chain I forged in life," replied the Ghost.  "I made it link by link, and yard by yard; I girded it on of my own free will, and of my own free will I wore it."  (Stave One, page 32)

"Business!" cried the Ghost, wringing its hands again.  "Mankind was my business.  The common welfare was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, and benevolence, were all my business.  The dealings of my trade were but a drop in the water in the comprehensive ocean of my business." (Stave One, page 35)

We have had some interesting discussions about sin, our free will, the choices we make and how we live with the consequences of those choices both now and after death.  Interesting questions abound, like, "Is Marley in Purgatory, Mom?"  And the best part is having the time to sit and discuss the answers:  "Do you think he is?"  "How does the way Dickens is presenting Marley differ from what you have learned about Purgatory?"  "What do you think Dickens is trying to say about how we live our lives and our choices?"  

It's times like this, curled up on the folded-out futon, that I'm so thankful that we get to share these moments, these great books, and use them to work toward being better versions of ourselves.  And there's no better time to start doing that than Advent!